Goodness

I have what some would refer to as a potty mouth.  (Not me, because I hate that word.)  I tend to curse a lot, and I would most definitely be lying if I said I never cursed around Calvin; though luckily he had no understanding of the words.  But now that he's getting older (14 months old now!) and his little baby vocabulary is expanding, I've started making a concerted effort to watch my mouth around him. (Not to mention that I feel it's in my best interest to keep my mom from backhanding me when she hears a naughty word escape my 33-year-old lips.)

gotta protect precious little (newborn) ears

So, substitute words have trickled their way into my everyday usage.  Lame stuff like, "GOT-blessit" (I don't even know), and "shiza" (which I guess is the Americanized version of the German word?) and "eff-ing" (yes, I'm super creative).

One substitute word I started using even before Cal was born was "goodness." And it has a very odd genesis.  So.  There I was in the hospital labor & delivery unit, room 2307, working very hard to give birth to the most wonderful, beautiful little one I've ever seen.  And it is generally accepted fact that this process tends to be quite difficult and painful.  Even though I'd had an epidural earlier in the process (best. decision. ever.), it's still very, very hard work.  But for some reason, I didn't feel... right about cursing in front of the various nurses and doctors ***(as if they haven't heard everything in the book).  To this day I don't /know why I suddenly became so proper - maybe I was attempting to make up for */**half the world getting a full-on view of my undercarriage.  So instead of peppering my language with various words that start with d, s and f, I instead kept repeating the word "goodness."  Getting through another contraction? "Oh my goodness..." Catching my breath after an intense series of pushes? "Goodness!" The more I think about it, though, I also think maybe it was my way of keeping control over the insanity that is giving birth.  But for whatever reason, it worked for me, as my birth experience was absolutely wonderful overall.

Nowadays, 14+ months later, I still say "goodness" all the time.  At Cal's school, they always respond to a sneeze with a hearty "goodness!" and we've picked that up at home with him.  He smiles every time.  :)

And I've been thinking lately about all the goodness in my life, as well.  The goodness that flows freely with Calvin runs up to me for a hug.  When he snuggles close after a bath.  How divine he smells after I've slathered him in baby lotion.  The way I feel all fluttery inside when I glance at him in my car's rear-view mirror as we're driving, watching him make silly faces in the mirror facing his car seat.  How delightful it is to watch him interact and play with his friends at school, and to hear from his teachers about the shenanigans they've been up to.  How fun it is when he points up at birds he sees in the sky (oh, he just loves birds). Lounging in bed together on a weekend morning and his gales of contagious giggles as we tickle him.  And right now, listening to him crack up watching Brian play an old Nintendo game.

Parenting can be SO challenging (and I only have 1!), but there's also SO much goodness to be had, and I feel like I must be doing something right when the good far outweighs all the rest.