Sunday, May 5, 2013

Things I never knew

There's so much I never realized would become truth for me after having a baby.

I never knew... much satisfaction I'd feel after getting a car seat tightly and securely installed. heart-wrenching it would feel leaving him at daycare the first few days after I started back to work. tough it still is.

...what an arm workout I'd get holding my 5-month-old while he jumps and works strength into those chubby little legs. good I'd get at eating with one hand. surreal it'd feel when I'd look into his eyes and see my own. amazed I'd be with each of his new developments. obsessed I'd get with baby clothes.

...the depths of my patience when he'd let loose (thankfully infrequent) screams.

...that I'd take so many pictures of my little boy (actually, I pretty much knew that would happen).

...the confusingly bittersweet feeling I'd have each time I realize how big he's getting.

...the joy that'd surge through my soul every time he wraps his little arms around my neck in a hug.

...the levels of silliness I'd happily resort to just to make him smile and laugh.

...that my son's laughter would be like water for my soul when it gets thirsty (thank you, Matisyahu). it'd feel to be his mother - the occasional frustration, the frequent worry, the constant thoughts of him, the immense pride, the intense, all-encompassing love.

... the wonder that he is mine.  The astonishment that I am his.

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