Friday, March 1, 2013

A Tiny Bit Wistful

In the early days of my life with Calvin, just days after his birth, I could be quoted as mentioning, as I held my tiny swaddled burrito baby, and being a fan of hyperbole, that I wished he could stay this little forever.  Of course, as his mother, I am joyful seeing him grow big and strong - it's perhaps the most primal sign of success as a parent.
yeah, he's pretty happy

But I'm already experiencing the desire to slow down time, to 'freeze' the very best moments, to really give myself the chance to soak in and cherish all the wondrous things about my baby and being a mom.  He is changing so fast, and I know most everyone feels this way, because I've had so many people tell me to enjoy it while I can, because the next thing I know, he'll be a teenager (or some variant of that).  
These feet are going to get so. much. bigger.

A recent evening, I was sorting through Calvin's clothes and packing away most all of the newborn-size outfits that he's grown out of.  Especially when I put away the adorable duckie outfit he wore when we brought him home from the hospital, I felt just a tad melancholy - how could these clothes already not fit??
bringing my tiny guy home

Brian likes to play a certain Taylor Swift (yes, he is a fan) song, called Never Grow Up, to try and make me cry - for the most part, I'm all Princess Bride Westley-as-the-Man-in-Black on him, "You're trying to trick me into giving away something. It won't work."
All hail the gorgeousness that is Cary Elwes circa 1987

But there are some lyrics from the song that are particularly poignant to me these days:

Your little hands wrapped around my finger
And it's so quiet in the world tonight
Your little eyelids flutter cause you're dreaming
So I tuck you in, turn on your favorite night light

To you everything's funny
You've got nothing to regret
I'd give all I have honey
If you could stay like that

Oh darling don't you ever grow up
Don't you ever grow up
Just stay this little
Oh darling don't you ever grow up
Don't you ever grow up
It could stay this simple
It's my turn to cry, Taylor

But, all that being said, it's been such a joy watching Calvin grow that, while I do wish perhaps that time could slow down just a little, every new day brings a new, ever-so-slightly enhanced version of Cal, and that current version becomes my new favorite.  So I'll just do my best to be in the moment with him as much as possible, cherish our time together and eagerly anticipate all his changes and "upgrades" to come.  :)

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